Rest

"There remains therefore a rest for the people of God. (Heb 4:9)"

I found it, that rest. It is not elusive or magical, it is just the knowledge that God is good.

"For I know the plans that I have for you, declares the Lord, plans for welfare and not for calamity to give you a future and a hope. (Jer 29:11)"

I have gone through some anxiety the past couple of weeks. Some of the symptoms were excessive worry over minor things, increased heartrate, tendency to cry very easily and for long periods of time, sleeplessness, fear. Usually I'll call a friend or my mother and talk things out, but not this time. Whenever the anxiety would start, one thought would run constantly through my mind. "God is good." The heartrate didn't decrease, I still had some trouble sleeping, and at times I was still worried and afraid. Something tremendous happened though. Through it all there was added a trust that God is indeed good, and that my life is in His hands. Despite the emotional symptoms, my spirit was at rest in the knowledge that He is good, and no matter the outcome, it is what is best for me.

I have heard people speak about faith as if it is obtained by repetition of certain verses or actions. If one fails to believe and conjur up faith, healing or prosperity on their own, then they are faithless. This is not so. The rest I found is the realization that no matter what I do, it's still all in His hands. Does this mean I stop trying, that I give in and lay down and let what ever comes just wash over me? No, No, and again No. It means I do whatever He gives my hands to do to the glory of God with excellency and integrity, and with prayer and thanksgiving, leave the outcome in His capable hands. It means I don't wring my hands over my future as if I am a victim of chance or in the hands of an unjust and unloving power. It means I realize that my reward is not always tendered in the temporal, but often revelealed in eternity. It means I know God walks among time much like Merlin, but goes from my past, present, and future like I walk from room to room in my own house. He was present before me and will be present after me, but He is also present with me. What comfort, what joy.